Last week I was feeling a bit depressed. I had to vacate my office space, where I had recently finished my studies. As I did not work there anymore, I had to pack up, leave the office, and bring all the stuff home. As I was packing in my office, a feeling of triviality started filling me from inside. I was feeling as if I had become worthless, and would no longer be considered necessary for work by anyone. The very thought of this made me more miserable.
After two days of mixed feelings and anticipation of my future, I realised, I should not be sitting around doing nothing. If I have decided to take control of my life, then only I can help myself to get out of this situation. If I don’t consider myself worthy, then no one will. That morning I woke up with a decision to do something special for myself, to have my own working space.
Although we have a study room at home, it’s not actually a work place. But we have another spare room in our backyard, a rumpus room, which we used as a store. I remembered that the day we had moved into this house, I always wanted to make this space into my work area. Although it’s not very ideal for study purpose, it’s perfect to indulge oneself into something you cherish. But since then it has been one and half year when we first moved in, I had completely forgotten about this. The room was being used to dump things we did not need anymore.
That day, after my husband left for office, I took all the cleaning equipments and went into our backyard. After working for about two hours, I was eventually able to turn the store into a space where I could work by myself, use it for my contentment. I was very happy again as I had my own working place. In a traditional way, I hanged a Ganesh murti on one of the wall, lighted a lamp and offered my prayers to the deity, to bless me for a new begining. Sitting at the table gave me a satisfaction. I am not able to express the exact feeling I had at that time, but whatever it was, it cleansed away all the earlier gloomy thoughts.
I hanged some of my old artwork, paper quilling frames, from the walls. Arranged my art and craft material on the table and shelves. As a start, I also did some sketching sitting at my new table. Unfortunately, I could not render my drawing, as my colours had dried up, since I had not used them for a long long time. I am hoping I will soon be able to complete the drawing. I hope from this new place, as a second step, I will be able to continue on the journey of my life.
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